When you LOSE something, for the most part, it is never a good thing. Ever notice how you can never “lose” something in a positive way? You can’t “lose” a cold and nobody ever says “Hey, congratulations on “losing” cancer. You can “beat” something and then lose it, but for the most part you can’t just LOSE something and have it be a good thing. The first time you lose something is usually the hardest. I remember the first time I lost a job (OK, I didn’t really lose it… I knew where it was it was just when I went there someone else was doing it!). The first time is always the hardest but you learn how to cope. For instance I have only been fired from one job in my entire life. All the rest I left on a mutual agreement, they said get out and I said OK, so it was a mutual agreement! Ahhh, the cleverness of coping!
There can be good things that come from loss though. If someone loses something and you find it for them then that is good. As I child I learned this early on. One day my mother had lost her car keys and was going crazy looking for them. I happened to find them for her and she was so happy she bought me an ice cream. I saw the benefit in finding stuff for her right away... so I started hiding her shit around the house and then “finding” it! Eventually the rewards petered off and I would then just hide shit for the sole enjoyment of driving her up a tree. It truly is an amazing thing my mother never put me up for adoption!
There can also be good things that come from you losing things. For instance I lost my first wife (OK, I didn’t really lose her… I know where she is it’s just when I go there someone else is doing her). Now that I think about it my marriage is the total opposite of my entire theory for this post. Finding my first wife was a bad thing for me but losing her was a good thing. So there are some exceptions to the rule of losing!
One thing people are always happy to announce they lost is weight, no matter how minimal the weight lose, people will be more than happy to tell you they lost it. I have a problem when someone is all excited about losing 2 pounds, because to me that’s the equivalent of taking a dump. Try it, next time you feel a really good one coming on, weigh yourself before and after. I’m not a doctor but I bet you will lose a pound or two! But I digress…
Have you ever noticed when someone loses something and then finds it they always say “it was in the last placed I looked”? Well, no shit! You FOUND it why would you keep looking for it? Now if you find something in the FIRST place that you looked then I have to ask, was it really lost? People are too quick to announce they lost something. How many times have you heard someone announce “I lost my keys” and in the same breath say “Oh, here they are”. If they had just waited another second I wouldn’t have had to roll my eyes at thought of helping them find their keys.
Another thing that bothers me that people say they lost is a loved one. You don’t LOSE a loved one when they die… depending on your beliefs you should know exactly where they are! Some believe our souls go to heaven, some believe our soul’s just roam the earth and some even believe we get 90 virgins. Whatever your beliefs are you should know where your loved one has gone, therefore they are truly not lost.
We all have something we lost that still lingers in our minds to this day. For instance my grandfather gave me a ring with a “B” on it when I was about 7 years old. I left it on a tray in McDonald’s and accidentally threw it away. Of course I didn’t realize it until much later in the day, but I still remember losing that ring. I even remember the McDonald’s I lost it at … it’s the one on 114 in Peabody.
There are some things you can lose and never find again… a parking space close to the mall entrance at Christmas time, the “big one” while fishing, a golf ball erratically hit into the woods, or my “B” ring given to me by my grandfather. Another thing you can lose but never get back is time. For example, I lost an entire morning writing this post and you lost about 15 minutes reading it!
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