ATTENTION THIS IS PART 2
READ PART 1 FIRST
READ PART 1 FIRST
So I am now standing in the middle of the Men's Department with Flamboyant Phil ... feeling much like I did the 1st time my ex-girlfriend surprised me with a finger up my sphincter during sex ... excited and confused!
He was standing there looking around and making little noises ... I was standing there looking around wondering WHAT was making HIM make little noises. Because as best as I could tell there wasn't anything moving or even close to him but what the hell do I know, maybe THIS is the way you shop. And now we're off ...
He's grabbing shirts and pants and belts and his little noises have now turned into either a "yes, yes" or a "no, no". This entire time I am just following behind him much like a school kid does when he's school clothes shopping with his mom. I have no idea WHAT he's picking out or if he is even still shopping for me, clearly he is "in the zone" and I don't want to mess with his Mojo. I'm just doing my best to stay out of his way and keep up with him as he bounces around the department.
I mentioned before how I was like a little school kid shopping with his mom? Now it's even worse because I am getting bored and I want this little adventure to be OVER ... so now I am actually dragging my feet and I'm about 2 seconds away from a "are we almost done" whine when she appears! I see her first but Flamboyant Phil wasn't far behind because he screams out "Sara my love ... what a chore I have here". Honestly? Half of me wanted to smack him for calling me a "chore" and the other half of me wanted to throw out the puppy-dog eyes of sympathy ... I went with the eyes!
Flamboyant Phil (not sure if his name was really Phil, but it's working for me!) is now talking with Sara and going on and on about how this shirt will go with these pants but it could also be a casual fit with these pants and ... yeah, I was lost too! But Sara was beautiful and I AM a typical male so I stood there pretending I knew WHAT he was saying AND I was agreeing with him! I was thinking the sooner he got back into his "zone" the sooner I could chat it up with Sara. Maybe if I played this right I could wear one of these new "outfits" on my 1st date with Sara!!!
Let's jump ahead about fifteen minutes here ... Flamboyant Phil is back to the "yes, yes" and "no,no's" and I am having a casual, unassuming conversation with Sara. I explain that I have always been bad at clothes shopping and even go into the whole Garanamils and Mannequin story. She thinks it's funny, or at least pretends she thinks it's funny, and I'm thinking we are hitting it off. This could be a GREAT DAY OF SHOPPING!!!
Things are going great, Phil is having fun shopping for me and I'm having fun flirting with Sara ... for the 1st time in a long time I wasn't missing garanamils or mannequins!
OK, so maybe I went a little overboard telling Sara how wonderful Phil was for picking out these clothes for me ... and maybe I shouldn't have agreed with her about what an awesome person he was in general ... but I was just trying to be nice and compliment her friend. She, on the other hand, took my "niceness" as bragging! I know this because as she walked away she grabbed my hand and told me what a wonderful person I seemed to be and how happy she was Phil found a nice guy!
HOLY SHIT SHE THINKS WE ARE A COUPLE!?!?!
I was so stunned I couldn't speak ... she walked away, Phil handed me his selections and I walked towards the cash register with a "What the fuck just happened here" look on my face.
A couple of days later I exchanged the clothes at another store (they just were not "me") for a couple of pairs of Jeans and some new T-shirts (more "me") and walked out of the store once again missing my Garanamils and Mannequins!
I HATE SHOPPING ... no, I mean I REALLY hate shopping!
He was standing there looking around and making little noises ... I was standing there looking around wondering WHAT was making HIM make little noises. Because as best as I could tell there wasn't anything moving or even close to him but what the hell do I know, maybe THIS is the way you shop. And now we're off ...
He's grabbing shirts and pants and belts and his little noises have now turned into either a "yes, yes" or a "no, no". This entire time I am just following behind him much like a school kid does when he's school clothes shopping with his mom. I have no idea WHAT he's picking out or if he is even still shopping for me, clearly he is "in the zone" and I don't want to mess with his Mojo. I'm just doing my best to stay out of his way and keep up with him as he bounces around the department.
I mentioned before how I was like a little school kid shopping with his mom? Now it's even worse because I am getting bored and I want this little adventure to be OVER ... so now I am actually dragging my feet and I'm about 2 seconds away from a "are we almost done" whine when she appears! I see her first but Flamboyant Phil wasn't far behind because he screams out "Sara my love ... what a chore I have here". Honestly? Half of me wanted to smack him for calling me a "chore" and the other half of me wanted to throw out the puppy-dog eyes of sympathy ... I went with the eyes!
Flamboyant Phil (not sure if his name was really Phil, but it's working for me!) is now talking with Sara and going on and on about how this shirt will go with these pants but it could also be a casual fit with these pants and ... yeah, I was lost too! But Sara was beautiful and I AM a typical male so I stood there pretending I knew WHAT he was saying AND I was agreeing with him! I was thinking the sooner he got back into his "zone" the sooner I could chat it up with Sara. Maybe if I played this right I could wear one of these new "outfits" on my 1st date with Sara!!!
Let's jump ahead about fifteen minutes here ... Flamboyant Phil is back to the "yes, yes" and "no,no's" and I am having a casual, unassuming conversation with Sara. I explain that I have always been bad at clothes shopping and even go into the whole Garanamils and Mannequin story. She thinks it's funny, or at least pretends she thinks it's funny, and I'm thinking we are hitting it off. This could be a GREAT DAY OF SHOPPING!!!
Things are going great, Phil is having fun shopping for me and I'm having fun flirting with Sara ... for the 1st time in a long time I wasn't missing garanamils or mannequins!
OK, so maybe I went a little overboard telling Sara how wonderful Phil was for picking out these clothes for me ... and maybe I shouldn't have agreed with her about what an awesome person he was in general ... but I was just trying to be nice and compliment her friend. She, on the other hand, took my "niceness" as bragging! I know this because as she walked away she grabbed my hand and told me what a wonderful person I seemed to be and how happy she was Phil found a nice guy!
HOLY SHIT SHE THINKS WE ARE A COUPLE!?!?!
I was so stunned I couldn't speak ... she walked away, Phil handed me his selections and I walked towards the cash register with a "What the fuck just happened here" look on my face.
A couple of days later I exchanged the clothes at another store (they just were not "me") for a couple of pairs of Jeans and some new T-shirts (more "me") and walked out of the store once again missing my Garanamils and Mannequins!
I HATE SHOPPING ... no, I mean I REALLY hate shopping!
No comments:
Post a Comment