Has someone ever just stunned you so much that you look at them and think "are you kidding me"? You know one of those times where you just look at the person and wonder how they have made it this far in life. One of those moments that make you wonder if someone is going to jump out and yell "Smile, you're on Candid Camera" (did I just date myself?)I walk into a fast food joint (not going to mention any names but it's finger-licking-good) to grab a quick lunch. This is "off peak" hours and the place is empty, I mean NOT A SOLE IN THE PLACE except for me and the lady behind the counter. I walk through the amusement park rope maze and make my way up to the counter. The woman behind the counter is in her mid 30's and looks like she is serious about her job, she's got her paper hat on and everything. Now I never criticize people for the choices they have made in their lives, hell I've made my fair share of bad ones. But I have to think that if you are in your mid 30's and your job requires you to wear a name tag AND a paper hat ... maybe you zigged when you should have zagged... moving on...
I place my order and pay the wonderful lady and she hands me my receipt which I put in my pocket with my change. Now is a good time to remind you that I mentioned the place was EMPTY! She then asks me to step to the side ... again, let me remind you that nobody is in the roped maze behind me but she insist that I step to the side. Now I am not one to question authority ... OK, maybe I am ... but I'm not about to piss of a lady in a paper hat that is about to put my meal together! I've watched "Caught on Tape" and I know what CAN happen to your food.
Paper Hat Patty then turns around, grabs three pieces of chicken and dumps them in a box. She then grabs a container of cole slaw and some "potato wedges" (formally called FRENCH FRIES) puts everything in a plastic bag. She then turns around and YELLS "Number 34" ... I SHIT YOU NOT! This might be another fine time to remind you that the place was FREAKING EMPTY except for me and Paper Hat Patty!!! At this point I'm thinking the only reason she had me step to the side was so she could yell my number ... mind you I'm only 2 feet away from her, but I think she really enjoys the yelling part of her job. I must add she does excel at it, I mean when she yelled NUMBER 34 she would have gotten every one's attention ... HAD ANYONE ELSE BEEN THERE!
I raise my hand up to my shoulder and give her a little "yeah, that's me" smile and she (I SHIT YOU NOT ON THIS) asks to see my receipt! Did I forget to mention that nobody else was in the joint??? Oh I did mention that, good. She did have her back turned to me for a good 15 maybe 20 seconds so there was plenty of time for ... who am I shitting? There wasn't time for ANYTHING but she still wanted my receipt. As I was digging in my pocket I mumbled "quite the stickler for the rules" under my breath.
Paper Hat Patty has some pretty good ears because she responded "Just want to make sure you are getting the right order sir"... Uhm, yeah I'm the guy that was standing over there like 30 seconds ago ... you know, the only son of a bitch in here! Now I didn't say that to her because after all, she still had my lunch clutched in her paws but I DID say "Your manager must be very proud of you".
"I AM the manager sir" was her response! Now I'm not sure if it was when she yelled "Number 34" in my face OR when she told me that she WAS the manager, but at some point my jaw hit the floor. I know this because I almost tripped on it on my way out the door.
What happened to common sense? Why did we stop using it? Can we get it back?
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