Jogging ... from my recliner (much safer)!

The nice weather is really trying to get here, and none too soon. There is nothing more I enjoy this time of year than driving down the street with my window wide open. Of course there are a few things you must constantly remind yourself as you drive down the street with your window wide open. One of the more important things would be that the things you say (or yell) are MUCH easier to hear now that your window is open.

With that said ... I would like to take this time to once again apologize to the very large and VERY understanding gentleman I "met" earlier today. Clearly I was NOT calling YOU a stupid son-of-a-bitch and I believe it is quiet obvious that it wasn't you that I wanted to slap the shit out of ... a total misunderstanding. Probably a good time to also mention to the pretty lady in the tight pants that I was talking to my buddy who owns a donkey farm at the exact same time you walked by ... the whole "nice ass" comment was totally taken out of context.

Moving on ...

Jim Fixx or Arthur Lydiard, depending on who you talk to one of those guys invented jogging. Oddly enough Jim Fixx DIED while jogging ... ain't that a bitch?

According to my extensive research (i.e.: Google search) jogging was "invented" in the 60's ... invented? How do you "invent" a body movement? I'm gonna bet that at LEAST one time prior to either Fixx or Lydiard's "invention" that someone "jogged" ... like, oh I don't know, maybe John Wilkes Booth! I bet he jogged a bit ... maybe while leaving, oh lets say Ford's Theater. I'm just guessing on that though. I wouldn't mind being known for "inventing" something people have been doing for years! How about Brendon Lynch ... the "Founder of Farting"?

Again, lets move on...

Now I am not a jogger, but I have ran a few times in my life ... OK so usually it's AWAY from something or someone. To be honest with you I just don't get the point. If you need to get somewhere that quick why not just drive? You joggers can NOT tell me you get any enjoyment out of it ... I've seen your faces while you are doing it and that is NOT a look of enjoyment. It's more of a "holy crap where's the bathroom because I'm never going to make it" look ... honestly, have you ever seen your face while you are jogging? I have never seen anyone jogging down the street with a big smile on their face. I'm going to guess some joggers will try to tell me they jog because it's healthy. I would like to take this time to direct your attention to the above paragraph where I mention one of the guys credited with inventing the "jog" DIED whilst he jogged!

Healthy? I'll take my chances here in the recliner, thanks!