It looks as is Spring has finally sprung in Boston! The weather is awesome so I decided to take another walk through the streets of Boston. Of course it's going to be tough to top the Dunkin' Doorman but I'm gonna try my hardest to find something to get into before I call it a day!
Most of the time I'm walking or riding the T I'm listening to my mp3 player and the sounds around me are drowned out. Today I decided to pass on the musical soundtrack and just take in the sounds of the city ... you know, in all their wonderful glory!
One of the most annoying inventions in the last 20 years has to be the little bluetooth ear pieces people use to make their cell phones hands free. I have a couple of issues with these damn things!
First off, now I can't tell the crazy people from the sane people any more! Now I have to ask myself "do they have a bluetooth or are they really just talking to themselves". Another thing is I NEVER know if you're talking to me or if you are on your phone ... case in point:
I was on a business trip and my company had put me up in a hotel room with a guy from another office. I had never met this guy before and now we were going to be sharing a room together for a couple of days. So here we are in the hotel room unpacking and I'm sitting at the desk checking my e-mail and this guy, who I only met 20 minutes before, asks "What size shirt do you wear?". I have to admit I did think this was an odd question from someone I just met but I answered it and continued checking my e-mail.
My temporary roommate continues to unpack and then he asks me if I like long sleeves or short sleeves ... what is it with this guy and shirts? He continues to ask questions ... weird ones too, like do I prefer pink or purple ... do I like ruffles ... that kind of stuff! Now I have to be honest with you and admit I was getting nervous and giving some serious thought to requesting a new room ... but I did answer each and every one of his questions. Then he told me he loved me ... WTF???
Just as I was about to punch him square in the nose I realized he had one of those fancy-dancy bluetooth ear pieces and that he was actually on the phone with his wife ... now who looks like an idiot? Yeah, not a big fan of the bluetooths!
Another problem I have with those cute little ear pieces is that if you are going to force me to listen to your phone conversation ... I want both sides! Screw the ear piece and just put it on speaker ... I don't want the one sided conversation, I WANT THE WHOLE DAMN THING! And if you are having a conversation that you are forcing me to listen to ... it better be a good one!
Back to my walk through Boston...
I'm walking along enjoying the weather and the sounds of the city and it hit me like Chris Brown (c'mon, it can't STILL be too soon!). Here's what I'll do ... I'll walk around and see what interesting phone conversations I can "find". You walk next to someone long enough you can kind of put the story together yourself. OK, so it may not be the whole story, and you may need to fill in some blanks yourself, but it could still be interesting! Down the street I go looking for a good conversation.
The first person I happen along is talking about Monday ... Monday, first thing! A doctors appointment? Big meeting at work? Damn it woman tell me more! As I am trying to figure out what this lady has going on on Monday a guy walks by me and I hear "Yeah dude, she had a banging ass" ... and that's where I lost interest in what this lady had going on on Monday ... U-TURN!
Now I am headed in the opposite direction listening to this guy recount his adventures with his temporary secretary ... his regular secretary was on vacation or something (OK, I made that last part up ... but it helps with the story don't you think?). To be honest with you the "conversation" got real boring real quick, almost made me regret leaving the lady with the Monday plans.
At some point my ADD kicked in and I lost focus on his conversation and him in general, next thing I know I'm walking next to some guy that is having problems with his wife and seems to be asking the person on the other end of the phone for some advice. Now in case you are new to this blog OR you live in a bubble, I will remind you that I am divorced and I am VERY familiar with "having problems with the wife". My ex-wife and I had a LOT of problems ... I mean A LOT! Of course it wasn't all the problems that convinced me to divorce her, nope ... it was the day I walked in and caught her doing laundry, that's when I knew I HAD to divorce her ... I guess I SHOULD mention that laundry was the name of the neighbors dog!
Moving on ...
This guys conversation was kind of depressing and I was once again getting bored. I felt his pain, but I needed to find a more uplifting conversation to eavesdrop. After all it is a beautiful day and the sun is shinning! It's HAPPY TIME! Damn you and your troubled marriage!
Here’s a lady yelling at someone , ”You’re an asshole” … I’ve heard THAT plenty of times … NEXT! “So the stocks have stabilized at …” boring … NEXT! “I miss you so much my heart aches … ” oh c’mon, I’m getting sick over here … NEXT “It’s like an oily, puss filled discharge that comes from my …” HOLY SHIT, YOU ARE IN PUBLIC BUDDY!!!
As I slip in my ear buds and turned up some Kid Rock to drown out the oily, puss filled conversation I think I may have actually yelled out “DAMN YOU BLUETOOTH INVENTOR” … so much for the sounds of the city! "I'm a cowboy baby ..." yeah, much better ... ahhhhhhh!
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